Selfish Sex
This culture is obsessed with sex. Whether it is sexual identity, pornography, or the stigma around losing your virginity, this culture is all over it. This world has yet again, continued to take one of God’s gifts and twisted it. Sex has become about you and satisfying your needs and wants. If you don’t get what you want, you are free to ghost whomever it was and move on, leaving that person a little more insecure than when you found them.
We have become so concerned with how we feel and how we are doing, the world has stepped how from, “how are you?” and stepped into “how am I?” We are slowly being conditioned to pursue our own pleasure at all costs and convincing ourselves that it feels good to do that. Sex has become so selfish that people will leave the ones they claim to love so that they may be more satisfied to their liking. Sex has become a prerequisite to relationships and if someone does not meet the requirements it is almost standard to drop them and move on.
Many Christian’s in relationship’s have to explain to people why they are not having sex before marriage. People often respond with, “well how will you know if they’re any good in bed?” or “ you should take them for a spin before just in case.” In case of what? Sex has now become an end all be all for society. While sex is very important and healthy in a relationship, if there are problems it should be dealt with the same as other problems. It needs to be talked about and worked through together. Now I know that it is easier said than done. Sex is something that is super personal and vulnerable. Dealing with a sex problem might be way more sensitive than other problems, that is why you proceed with kindness, understanding, and prayer. My point is, sex should not be something that should end a marriage (of course there are extreme cases but I am talking in general).
Sex has become so individualized, the relationship aspect has been taken out of it, which is one of the many reason’s people are no longer satisfied with their sexual partners. In his book, “Sex and Money” Paul trip writes, “Sex by God’s design is meant to occur in the context of two communities of love. Love for God and neighbor is the only location where sex can live according to God’s plan.” What does this mean? It means that sex will never be as satisfying as it’s supposed to if it is apart from what God intended it to be. God intended for their to not only be a physical component, but also a relational component too. It was never supposed to be about just your needs, but also your partners. A challenge to leave you with would be, what would happen if you started putting your partners sexual needs above yours? Now, don’t do it in an unhealthy way where it kinda just ruins you. But I can’t help but wonder if it would make a difference in how you two interact inside AND outside the bedroom.
This is an example of how sex crazed our culture is. Church is where people are supposed to be the safest, and now we cannot even count on that.
Tripp, Paul David. Sex and Money: Empty Pleasures, Satisfying Grace. Inter-Varsity Press, 2013.
This is the citation for the Sex and Money book by Paul Tripp.
